5 Things Men Need To Be Doing

Ah, men. It's so hard to be us, isn't it? We have to forage and hunt for food, protect our caves and our women, and generally be the rock in every relationship. We are expected to be sensitive and, at the same time, masculine as all hell. What's a man to do? Well, in this day in age, there are several things men need to be doing that many are sadly avoiding. We'll save the grooming tips for another time, less someone think this list too feminine.

5. Giving Up Their Seats. See that little, old lady clinging to the handlebar on the bus? Of course you do. You're sitting right in front of her. Now get up and offer her your seat. You should be doing this even if she's not little and old. Believe it or not, womens' shoes and clothes are far ore uncomfortable than mens'. Standing in heels on the subway sucks. Honestly, you should be giving up your seat to anyone who looks less able to stand than you are but, at the very least, you should be a gentleman to those wearing uncomfortable shoes. If you can conquer worlds with your Blackberry, you can stand up in-transit.

4. Dressing Their Age. This doesn't mean that you need to be wearing a suit every day, or even a sportsjacket. You can still look perfectly acceptable without a tie, which many powerful, professional men don't wear every day...or at all. But that "Tap Out" t-shirt looks ridiculous on you if you're over forty and, honestly, you aren't fooling anyone. Dressing like a teenager doesnt' make you look younger, it makes you look as if you are in denial. Save your mid-life crisis for the Corvette you buy and learn to dress your age. There are t-shirts for middle-aged men that don't look like the clothes your dad wore. Find them. You'll be surprised to learn that dressing your age will actually make you look younger. That "Affliction" shirt only makes you look silly.

3. Learning How A Doorway Works. Pretty simple, really: Let people out before you go in. This works on planes, trains, at the mall, at the office, or anywhere that a door opens up and people come through it. Believe it or not, you aren't nearly as important as you think you are, and your pushing your way onto the subway before people get off doesn't actually hasten your commute. The old saying that "Patience is a Virtue" rings true when people are walking through the door.

2. Controlling Their Insides. Sitting in an airport lounge recently, I was on the receiving end of a loud belch by the guy sitting next to me. When I looked over at him, he said "Sorry, I can't help it". Yes, you can. Everyone can. You might have gas, and that's a fact of life, but you also have a mouth that closes and the ability to stifle your obnoxiousness. Same goes (even more so) for farting. If you are over the age of 12 and haven't learned how to control your gas, you're lucky to have made it this far into society without being caged and used as a lab experiment. It's the 21st century; your gas doesn't need to be shared with others.

1. Eating Like Adults. Your napkin goes on the left, your forks on the left, and your knife and spoon on the right. But you don't really need to know that unless you're having a formal dinner party. Even then, not knowing proper table setting is okay. Eating like a Neanderthal is not. Close your mouth, chew your food, and learn to sip your drink without slurping it into your gullet. No one wants to hear your food, let alone see it, so learn to behave as if you've eaten before. If you live in North America, chances are pretty good you are not starving. Stop eating like you are.

So, being a man might not be easy, but each of us can do his part to be a little more graceful as we deal with this fact. Sure, we're not completely removed from our cavemen ancestors, but we can at least try eating like we are. And if you must eat with your hands, perhaps we can discuss getting a manicure?